Dear Brownie,
I hate to write this and I'm really very sorry but we can't
be friends anymore. I have a new friend now, Miss Slim Pants. She thinks it’s a
bad idea for us to continue being friends. I really cannot have both of you and
must let one go. I hope you understand, Miss Slim Pants means a lot to me.
She's so cool. I've wanted to be friends with her ever since I can remember.
You know brownie, she’s very different from you and me.
She's smart, confident and beautiful. Not awkward at all. Do you understand
what I'm saying? She's like the red velvet cake of your world; everybody wants
a piece of her. But she can be too sweet at times. You on the other hand my dear
brownie are just the right amount of sweet. She can be very mean but then again
she looks so nice that most of the time people ignore everything else.
It feels great to be
with her, although it does get a bit uncomfortable at times. But you my dear
brownie have always made me feel good. You were always there to comfort me and
you never made me break up with my other friends. Oh! I don't know what to do!
:( What should I do Brownie?
Love,
Damy
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Dear Damy,
You do the right thing girl. Sure my walnuts will fall apart
without you but that's no reason for you to look back. You should embrace new
things in life. It may hurt for a while and you might miss me, but soon when
you're all pretty and thin and you're with Miss Slim Pants, you'll forget all about
me. But I will never forget you my dear. I'll always look out for you from
behind the counters of Theobroma; and when you walk in with Miss Slim Pants and
order yourself only a cup of green tea, I'll understand that you've moved on.
Be happy my friend.
Love,
Brownie
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Dear Brownie,
It's been a month since I saw you last. I'm so lonely
without you. There's no sweetness left in my life anymore. Miss Slim Pants says
that she can't be friends with me yet and I need to exercise and stop eating
altogether if I want to be with her. I think she's very mean.
Can I come and see you sometime?
Love,
Damy
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Dear Damy,
Of course you can come and see me. I'm still here and my
love for you is unconditional. You know I'd never ask you to change one thing
about you. I love you just the way you are, love handles and all. :)
You'll always be my friend.
Love,
Brownie
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Dear Brownie.
You're a true friend and I love you too!
I know what I must do now. I'm breaking up with Miss Slim
Pants. She's a mean bitch.
I just want to be with you. I have so much to tell you. xoxo
Let's meet up over a cup of coffee?
Love,
Damy
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Dear Damy,
I'll be waiting for you! xoxo
Love,
Brownie
